There is a piece of me that is scared. A bit nervous writing this, starting a blog. I want to talk about what matters, what gives my life it’s own perspective, it’s own juice, it’s own terror, and all the colors in between. Of course, whatever infuses my life comes from me, and so what I really am scared about revealing is my internal state. Who-I-Am.
But then you might read it. And then you will know all about me. And what if you don’t like me? What then?
But that is EXACTLY why I want to write this! Because we all feel this way at some point or another and it’s important for us to know this, to not feel alone, and to be able to connect in those moments of terror – terror that isn’t even real. It just seems really real. This terror is what stops us from truly being ourselves. It stops me sometimes.
It’s time for me to let go of that. It’s really draining to have the part of me that wants to connect to others be constantly overridden by the part of me that feels she needs to be perfect. The One who Wants So Desperately To Belong. And who then ends up not belonging anywhere.
Sometimes, you have to risk what you want the most in order to get it.
So, let’s get this conversation started. Because there really isn’t a right or wrong in life, anyway, right? It’s just billions of perspectives clashing and swirling and blending as each of us find our voice, where we settle in, where we want to be. Everything that happens in life is neutral. It’s how you perceive it that gives it its flavor. And I have things to say. You do, too, and I want to hear them.
You want to be seen. I want to be seen. We want to see each other, to connect. In order to be seen by others, I need to fully see myself first and from there, express who I am to you. As I do this more and more, it becomes a habit and gain momentum, so that I am fully expressing myself in all areas of my life. And I lean on my support system in the moments when this is most challenging. It’s hard to do this alone.
The human brain (and mine especially) wants to label and sort and relate things, so I am trying to label things to make sense of it all.
But, the Danish philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said, “Once you label me, you negate me.”
So, while there will be labels to help the sorting process, and to use as a communication tool, as something to connect around, my real, true self and your real, true self breathes in the spaces between the labels.
So, let’s connect on that level. And when we are there…no labels, please.