This is my goal: To live a life with nothing to prove. That means I need to take away my ego, my pride, my need to be perfect, my self-sabotaging Judger inside my head, etc. etc. etc. Because my real self, the one without labels, has nothing to prove. She is good enough just being. It’s all this other stuff that makes everything so convoluted.
That is a lot to get rid of. It’s like, deleting all the crap that is there so I can see the beauty underneath it all.
Because I know there is beauty there. I can feel it. I can feel it when I connect with others, too. I see it in their eyes, feel it in their energy. This “proving” thing is just a need to one-up each other in some weird attempt to find our place in this world by putting everyone else into categories and comparing ourselves to them. It’s like we just need to prove we are better than others because we intrinsically don’t believe we are good enough as we are.
My distorted self/ego/mind needs to prove things, to feel needed. I want to know that I make a different in this world and to get recognition for it. I feel like I need to prove to others that I am capable, intelligent, ambitious, etc. But, what I have noticed is that when I make the most difference, I have taken my “self” out of the equation. I am doing the work of something greater. Call it the work of the Universe, or God’s work, or a Higher Power. I am not saying I am some spiritual guru who has this unique special connection to the higher sources. That would be another statement of ego. We all have this ability. It’s whether we choose to zone into it or not. It’s a pretty cool feeling when I can zone into it. And the second I notice I am in the Zone, I am out of it. Because then my Distorted Self is going, “Look how cool you are! You are in the Zone! You are better than everyone!”
When you are “on purpose,” meaning you are in alignment with what you want, what you feel called to do, don’t you feel amazing? Seamless. Pure. Threaded to others effortlessly. That is the kind of life I am talking about.
Where you are living with an open heart, without fear or worry, in complete trust, and full expression of who you are meant to be.
My real self knows that this need to prove is bullshit. She knows that she is enough just being. That life is an illusion. That we create who we are, we create our lives. And, as creators, everything is shifting and changing and dancing and blending. So, the walls that my distorted self thinks I need to climb over are made of perceived limitations and judgments. They are not real.
This means that I am working so hard to climb over walls that don’t even exist. That is why life feels difficult sometimes.
If I just let go and lived a life with nothing to prove, I would feel the freedom that I am trying so hard to prove I deserve.