I have been away from my blog for over a month. There is a part of me who feels bad about it, that I let people down, that I let myself down. This voice didn’t motivate me to get back to writing, however.
The voice I listened to this past month was the one in me who said nurture your Self. I have had a lot going on lately, too many things to juggle, and I had to make some decisions. Taking care of myself in this past month didn’t include stressing out about writing a blog. So, I didn’t write one. (Admittedly, I did stress about it a little, but slowly that feeling subsided.)
What do we do when we have conflicting priorities? How do we make the “right” decisions?
It’s a messy, stumbling dance to figure this out. We wish it was a clear cut path, but it often isn’t. Each month is broken into weeks, into days, into hours, into moments. Each moment is a choice of how to be, and what action to take that stems from that. We have our values that we (hopefully) live by (and if we aren’t, that’s a problem, right there), and we have all these roles to fill. The roles that create the tension between being there for others and being there for ourselves, and sometimes these conflict.
Not everyone is going to be satisfied or happy with every decision you make.
The question is: Are you?
When we live true to ourselves, things tend to fall into place. Even it takes some adjusting on the parts of others. But we are adjusting to their shifting needs and priorities at the same time, so it all works out. The messy, stumbling dance.
Where the dance can turn to war is when one or both parties are neglecting to nurture themselves. This is where blame, resentment, and even hatred enter the picture. It’s the classic “projection” of our deeper thoughts and feelings on to others. “You never help me with anything and I have to do everything around here!” might actually mean, “I really need time for myself and I haven’t taken that time.”
We must remember to nurture ourselves or we lose ourselves. When we lose ourselves, we have less to give to others and everyone suffers.
Nurturing yourself can mean saying “yes” to something you love, like going away for the weekend, having dinner with friends, getting a massage, taking time to sit by yourself under a tree, or to read a book. It can also mean saying “no” to something, like no to writing your blog, no to that extra request your coworker asked of you, no to going on a run this morning because sleep is more important today, no to taking any phone calls because you need to disconnect, or no to alone time because it’s time now to reconnect with the world.
Nurturing is bringing yourself back into balance.
Where are you out of balance in your life now? What is needed to restore that balance?