Some people think that asking for help is a sign of weakness. I used to think that. But now, I have come to realize that asking for help shows strength and vulnerability, which is a courageous act. It is also a gift to someone to ask them for help, because you are letting them offer their talents. We all like to help others…so let someone have that good feeling and ask them to help you! 🙂
Some tips on asking for help:
Know What Kind Of Help You Need
Notice where you need the help and who is the person who will be able to fill the spot best. For example, when we lean on a friend, we know which friend to go to for sympathy versus a kick in the butt. Different people offer different kinds of help. So, be honest and specific with yourself about what you really need.
Accepting Help When It Is Offered
Sometimes, someone might offer help, but you play that, “oh really, it’s ok” routine even though you are thinking, YES! This is something I need right now! So, just cut the games and graciously accept their offer and thank them. They feel helpful, you get help – Everyone wins!
Be Open to Receving Help Energetically
Sometimes, you don’t even need to verbalize needing help. If you are open to it energetically, you may just attract it, anyway. Think back on a time when an opportunity just “presented” itself to you, seemingly out of the blue. Perhaps you were asking for help on an energetic level.
There Is A Difference Between Asking For Help And Asking For Permission
Some of us have this voice in our head that we need to ask permission before we do things. Asking for help to proceed with something is very different than asking for permission to go ahead. When you ask for help, notice what kind of intention you are coming from. Are you asking for help, or validation?
Being Asked for Help as Opposed to Being Told What To Do
You know it feels different when someone is truly asking you for your help versus “can you help me with this?” with total expectation behind it. They aren’t really asking – they are telling you to help. Not the same thing. Same goes for when you are doing the asking – pay attention to your wording, tone, and intention in order to get across the message the way you would like for it to be received. When you ask from a place of vulnerability, it comes through. And if you are expecting help, be honest about that, too! That’s ok! Just be honest that it is a demand, and not a request. They are different.
Giving Help — Receiving In Kind
Offering to help others from your heart creates a sense of community and generosity. It is great to ask for help and to lean on others. Remember to offer help to others, as well, so that you are reciprocating in the give-receive cycle. You can return the favor to the same person or pay it forward, either way, or both!
Be Willing to Accept No
It’s great to ask for help. And some of us don’t want to ask because we don’t want to bother people or be a burden, or we are afraid of rejection. But part of truly asking someone is that they get to say “yes” or “no.” Obviously, a “yes” is very helpful, but if they choose to say “no” accept that as ok, too.