Is there something you want in life – something that your heart is aching and yearning for – that you feel you can’t have…because fear shows up?
This is a normal part of transition and change.
Fear shows up in direct proportion to desire. The more you want something, the higher the stakes feel – and the deeper your fear will be.
When you let yourself desire something big, do any of these fears show u?
- You’re afraid you will fail – so why bother trying?
- You’re afraid you will succeed – and what will change as a result?
- You’re afraid of loss – of “wasted” time, of the status quo changing, of…?
- You’re afraid people will laugh at you – they’ll judge you for what you want, and even more so if you fail?
First, you need to determine if they are real. Are they showing you something that you need to pay attention to?
Where there is fear, there is opportunity for healing and growth.
At the same time, it may also mean you just need more information. It’s murky and tangled and you can’t clearly see the way, so you’re afraid of the unknown.
For example, if you want to start a business and you are afraid of going financially bankrupt, this is important to pay attention to. It doesn’t mean don’t start the business – it just means that you are needing more clarity. You need to gather information. How much will the business cost? What is the business plan? How will you get the money? What is the impact on the rest of your life?
Sorting out the answers to these questions will guide you to the next steps.
Approaching fear as a guide will transform your relationship with fear, with yourself, and ultimately, with your life.
Contrast this approach with just giving up the moment fear show up: “I will be bankrupt so I won’t even try.”
Throwing up your hands at the first sign of fear is cruel to your soul. Your fear is only showing you what you need to uncover or heal next. Don’t take it as a message to stop. Take it as a message to simply uncover what is needed next.
Fear is good. It keeps us asking the right questions.
Asking the right questions changes everything. Learning the art of asking the right questions transforms your entire approach to life.
We’ll go over how to ask the right questions next week. For now, practice befriending your fear.
What are you afraid of? If your fear had a message, what is your fear telling you?
Until next time…
With love and light,
Nicole Justine Cavanaugh